September 08, 2004

I Have No Idea

. . . what this post was going to be about, because I just realized it's a really fantastic day outside. I mean gorgeous. Other locals can back me up on this. It's the kind of day where I don't even mind that I have all of $15 in the checking account. It's that good.

So why in hell I had to begin it by reading some wanker complain that a band of 14 year-old girls are "skanky" and "not in the good way," I don't know. I guess because I wanted to take that fleeting wow, what a beautiful day feeling and slam it into a wall of despair and disgust and wishes that God would just end this little science fair project right now and sure thing, of course I'll volunteer to go over the cliff first. No problem.

I'm all for putting whatever you want on the internet and I don't have kids, so parental controls aren't really my issue, and it's a wide wide world out there and whatever floats your boat blah blah blah, and I'm an adult and can generally get by without warning labels for content and why yes, in fact I do know how to just point-and-click myself elsewhere, thank you, and I am also skilled in the use of the shutdown function, mmm-hmm indeed yep . . . but there are times I wish parts of the internet came with a "WARNING: What you are about to read may make you want to die" sticker.

My excuse is the coffee wasn't ready yet. It's ready now, though, so adios.

Oh, here though. Go read something that doesn't involve 14 year-old girls and one sad clown's attempt to locate his prick long enough to beat it off to them before ultimately categorizing them as sub-par wank material. Go read . . . go read . . . go read Simon World. Simon World currently has the web design I'm most jealous of--yes even though I said I hate blue, shut up--and all the wit I was born without plus tons leftover.

Yes, go read that. Unless you're caught up on Simon World, in which case please go beg Hubris to post more. Hubris always cheers me right up.

Oh . . . or Little Miss Attila for you political junkies. Little Miss Attila recently compared me to a serial killer, but then she also compared me to Athena, so I have to believe she really meant the serial killer part in a good way. And besides, now if I ever become a cartoon, maybe I can bunk with Nice Pete.

DIE, PERVS, DIE UPDATE: While I'm bemoaning the exploitation of 14 year-old girls, Wizbang! is linking to video of an eighth-grade girl masturbating. (Read the comments and see background here.) Tell me again, O Conservatives, how it's actually gay marriage that's going to lead to more pedophilia. Tell me again how none of the folks in your camp ever has anything to do with the mainstreaming of this stuff. Tell me one more time. But then, what do you expect of a blog that would be halfway up the ass of Wonkette by now if she didn't have so much other crap jammed in there already?

Posted by Ilyka at September 8, 2004 08:06 PM in navel gazing

I don't want to rain on your parade with facts, but A) I didn't link directly to the video, B) Most if not all of the links (according to a later post) do not work, C) I'm pretty certain the link had already appeared on FARK, D) The article doesn't prove it's the girl in question (and not a p0rn star).

Posted by: Kevin at September 9, 2004 05:40 AM

Oh, I love it: The "I didn't link to it directly" defense.

You know, I'm not real happy to report that I watched the fucking thing, but I did (when something's called "Psycho Girl," I'm thinking she stabs a voodoo doll of the guy or something that might be remotely humorous like that).

That's no porn star. That's a girl who's barely over the squeaky-voicedness of childhood. I know it, you know it, anyone watching one minute of it would know it.

But that's okay, 'cause at least you didn't link to it directly!

Posted by: ilyka at September 9, 2004 05:53 AM

Oh, and I'm pleased to learn we should all be taking moral direction from FARK. Good luck with that.

Posted by: ilyka at September 9, 2004 05:53 AM

I sometimes wonder if I should be blogging. With people linking beheadings, a poor young girl exploring masturbation (look, it's hard enough to get started with the act from heaven, let alone get filmed during it), and the like, I just think: Yeah. Really all I need the internet for is booking vacations and checking the weather forecast.

Then throw in things with names like FARK and Wonkette, and it really all sounds like a Sesame Street cast of characters, only a Sesame Street where Frank Oz gets busted in a porn shop and Miss Piggy is really made out of soy, not pork.

I come to Ilyka for things to make sense though, so blogging it is.

Posted by: Helen at September 9, 2004 11:19 AM

Meanwhile, the child sex slave trade is alive and well all over the world.

Posted by: Dean Esmay at September 10, 2004 07:47 AM