Do you ever find yourself reading a site by someone you know you hate?
I don't mean someone you "know" personally or anything. I mean, you've read that blog before, and you've hated it, and you know when you go to read it the next time, you're going to hate it all over again.
Then you read it anyway.
Then you spend the next five minutes talking yourself out of writing about how much you hate that site on your own blog, because even though you'd feel so much better if even just one other person would show up and leave you a comment like "I know, I hate it too! It's just so hateable! I can't believe how much I hate that jerk!", etc. . . . even though a comment or two in support of your heretofore private hate-rave would be like having your hate-parking validated, even though it would be so welcome, you also know you'd feel like a real dick for writing a post that was nothing but a coldblooded slam on how exquisitely hateable you find another person's creative efforts.
And then you think about the other comments that would basically say, "So don't read it, then," and you think about what sage advice that is, and how often you've given it to others in the past, and how obvious it is, and you resolve not to read that site anymore because that is clearly the only sensible course of action.
This works for a couple of months or so, and then one night your defenses are down and you think, "Hey, I know: Seeing as I'm bored with everything else, let's go see what's happening at that site that I hate."
See, it's been awhile, and your memories of just exactly why you hate it, exactly how much you hate it, have gone all French impressionists in your mind. Besides, you can't imagine how it could possibly have become more repellent to you in the interim, because even though you don't remember specifically how much you hated it, you're pretty sure it was A LOT.
So surely, the only way your feelings towards it can go are towards the positive, because didn't you max out the hate for that site months ago? You had to have, right? So maybe this time you'll actually hate it less. Ooh, let's go see!
[click]
Uh . . .
Gaaahh . . .
Eccch.
[vomiting]
Anyway. You know that blogger, the one who writes that really wretched, vile weblog? I completely hate that blogger.
Uh, obviously it's none of you? I mean I shouldn't even have to say that; I'm an asshole, yes, but I'm not so much of an asshole that I'd write a post like this about any of y'all. I am like 99.9% certain the person this is about (a) has no idea I read him/her and (b) has no idea who I am. And that's how it's going to stay, because I just resolved never to read that site again. I know, shut up! I mean it this time.
Posted by Ilyka at May 28, 2005 08:26 AM in i don't know you tell meOh, I can think of two or three that fall into that category for me. But I keep going back because it's like watching a train wreck or a roadside accident. Ugh.
Posted by: Roxanne at May 29, 2005 02:19 PMYeah, I hate that blog, too.
Posted by: Rob at May 29, 2005 02:57 PMYou read my mind. I was just thinking about how much I hate that blog.
Posted by: Jim at May 29, 2005 07:00 PMI know exactly what you're saying! The really bad thing is when someone says "You need to check out what (insert vile name here) is blogging about, you'd really be interested." So then you have to check it out because curiosity is killing you. Then you spend the next day or so obsessing over (1) how vile they still are, and (2)that you broke your vow and went "over there" again!.
And I did scour you blogroll for hints that we might hate the same person.
Posted by: Janette at May 29, 2005 07:57 PMobsessing over (1) how vile they still are, and (2)that you broke your vow and went "over there" again!.
Thank heaven I'm not the only one who knows that feeling too well.
And I did scour you blogroll for hints that we might hate the same person.
Oh now hey, I'd have to be even more masochistic than I already am to blogroll it.
Posted by: ilyka at May 29, 2005 11:10 PMYeah, I hate that blogger too, and how come they always seem to get so much attention and traffic? What is up with that? I also must commend you because at least you didn't tell us all who you hated (but now I for one am dying of curiousity)...in my I hate this blog post, I actually told who the blog was...luckilly only 5 or so people read it. ;) And it wasn't really hate, just intense dislike...
Posted by: jody at May 30, 2005 03:27 PMI THINK I got your back on the hate.
I hate that blog too.
If it's the one I think it is, that is. If not, pardon me and my seething rage. It's the hormones.
Posted by: Helen at May 30, 2005 05:45 PMI have a few like that -- I have to pretend they don't exist. But I did get dragged in a few weeks ago when a particularly bad thread was being linked around.
Posted by: Lauren at May 30, 2005 07:01 PMI'm such a pain in the ass I type the URL in for my hated blogger so he/she (I'm not telling unless you do!) doesn't think he/she is getting any referrals!
Actually, there's more than one I hate, but the other one just bores me out of my skull. Elevator music of the blogosphere. Apparently not many others would agree, though, based on said blog's traffic. ;-) (And no, it's not Mr. Indeed.)
Posted by: Beth at May 31, 2005 10:54 AMI type the URL in for my hated blogger so he/she (I'm not telling unless you do!) doesn't think he/she is getting any referrals!
!!!
I totally do that with this one.
I'm THAT spiteful.
I don't know who among the big names is boring you to death, but I will mention the name of one who puts me into a coma just to be even more petty . . .
. . . oh, no I won't. I can't be that mean.
Still, some of the A-listers do have me scratching my head and frowning, "Why?" I just don't always see the appeal. In general, the more dry and "professional-newscaster" the tone of the blog, the less I like it. I need a little personality, dudes, or I might as well fall asleep to C-SPAN.
Posted by: ilyka at May 31, 2005 11:07 AMI did get dragged in a few weeks ago when a particularly bad thread was being linked around.
Lauren: Did the name eee-ess-emm-ay-why figure into it? Because if it did, I know that thread and I hate it too.
Posted by: ilyka at May 31, 2005 11:10 AMI type the URL in for my hated blogger so he/she (I'm not telling unless you do!) doesn't think he/she is getting any referrals!
I visit mine (who I'd stayed away from until I saw this post, so thanks a lot) in Lynx, so he/she doesn't even think he/she is getting any extra VISITS.
Posted by: Moebius Stripper at May 31, 2005 05:42 PMI actually have a set of links in my favorite called Wretched Vile Blogs.
Posted by: michele at June 1, 2005 02:10 AMOoh, I have one particular blog like that. I hate reading it, but I can't stop. I was finally ready to reach into the fuck it bucket and unsubscribe, but then this person had one post up that I actually want to address, whenever I get around to it. So I checked it off in Bloglines, and now I can't unsubscribe until I uncheck it. Damn.
I started to comment on this yesterday, but it just came out sounding all petty. And then you went and spelled it. *claps hand over mouth*
Posted by: Erica at June 1, 2005 06:16 AMI hate that blog, too
Posted by: hate at June 12, 2005 10:02 AM