June 21, 2005

Get Your Lazy Bum off the Treadmill and Run, Punk

That's who's on THE LIST today: The punk kid who was sitting on one of the treadmills in the workout room so he could watch Nebraska play Arizona State in the college world series. Look, when even I can bother getting my fat rear up on the other treadmill to try to slim down, I sort of lose any sympathy I might otherwise have for your no-cable-affordin', too-cheap-to-go-to-a-damn-sports-bar, lazy ass.

I never say anything to these people, but then I'm always left wishing I had.

I'm also left seething at those self-help books, you know the ones, where they tell you just not to let stuff like that bother you--oh, excuse me: not to let stuff like that "sidetrack you from your goal of attaining inner peace." I've decided books like that are written by people who want the jerks of the world to conquer and have free reign. Maybe human beings weren't meant to maintain inner peace 24/7. Maybe sometimes we're supposed to fight back a little.

Don't even get me started on how funny I find the phrase, "college world series." Crikey, I didn't even know they had one. My dad's a big Yankees fan so I'm marginally one myself out of respect for him, but that's the extent to which I pay any attention to baseball. It'll be a cold day in hell before I can bring myself to care about college baseball.

But there's always a bright side: This guy was a Nebraska fan.

ASU beat them in extra innings.

Suck on that, ya lazy punk kid.

Posted by Ilyka at June 21, 2005 11:47 PM in hell is other people

I think inner peace is overrated, myself. I never feel any qualms about mentally judging people who do annoying things. Carry on.

Posted by: Dr Alice at June 22, 2005 12:12 AM

Oh, thank you. I really ought to just switch it to HGTV on him next time.

"What?--Designer's Challenge is on!"

Posted by: ilyka at June 22, 2005 02:36 AM

I like my officemate's advice for dealing with people like that: "kick 'im in the nuts."

It seems to solve a lot of problems. (How's that for inner peace?)


Posted by: hln at June 22, 2005 02:56 PM

People who talk about inner peace do stuff like this.

Posted by: Yehudit at June 23, 2005 04:58 AM