August 11, 2005

B-A-N-A- . . .

You know, I never liked No Doubt. Underneath the vaguely--and I mean vaguely--alternative packaging, it was pretty obvious that what you were hearing was a band fronted by a woman who'd never quite got over failing cheerleading tryouts.

And don't leave me some nerdy-ass fanboy comment saying "Actually, I saw the Behind the Music on them recently and Ms. Stefani, far from aspiring to make the cheerleading team, was actually captain of the chess club." I DON'T CARE, for one, and for two, I refuse to believe that.

In any case cheerleaders, both actual and frustrated, are born, not made. It's a state of mind, or state of absence thereof if you prefer. I mean, listen to just one round of that chorus:

Few times I been around that track
So it's not gonna happen just like that
'Cause I ain't no--

--wait, what? What's that now? You have your hands over your ears and are trying to scream "STOP THAT!" through gritted teeth? Really? ME TOO. It doesn't work, though. You have to unclench your jaw to get a really good scream going.

Anyway I've been giggling over this write-your-own comic (fifth one down the page) that references, you know . . . off and on since I ran across it . . . and the problem with that is, it's a laugh that costs me every time, because it results in yet more hours of hearing, you know, on the mental jukebox, until I kind of wish I had a gun myself.

It is indeed your shit, Gwen. You did not need to explicitly state so for us to be able to tell that. And I'd like to know when it's getting flushed off the airwaves because already, ENOUGH.

(If you can stand it, though, this analysis of the deeper meaning of Stefani lyrics is pretty good.)

Posted by Ilyka at August 11, 2005 01:23 AM in trivia | TrackBack
Comments

I hate that F-ing song too! Especially that elementary school b-a-n-a-n-a-s part. And Star is doing dome win a car promo with that song in the LA area, so I get hit with it at every commercial break and promo spot, even if the song hasn't been on in a while. Makes it hard to change the channel.

This chick is 35 and married. WTF with the cheerleader crap??? ARRGH.

Posted by: caltechgirl at August 11, 2005 04:18 AM

Gwen is a freak.

H.

Posted by: Hal at August 11, 2005 06:58 AM

Loathe. That. Song.

Posted by: Margi at August 11, 2005 08:44 AM

I only wrote this because I had just had a few peaceful moments without it going through my head when I went out on the patio for a cigarette (in honor of Peter Jennings) and from out in the parking lot I heard . . . yeah.

I regret to inform you, Margi, that your former place of birth remains batshit crazy for that damn song.

Posted by: ilyka at August 11, 2005 10:10 AM

This is my favorite cheerleading song, but it has deep lyrics like I SWALLOW, I SWALLOW, I SWALLOW, I SWALLOW.

Posted by: Hubris at August 11, 2005 05:23 PM

I don't even know that song. Guess I wasn't listening to the right radio stations back then.

I don't own a No Doubt or Stefani album, though. Kinda wanted the first one, never got it.

Never bought any Jewel, either, who came out around the same time. Liked some of her stuff, too. But I have a friend who constantly goes insane on the breath she takes between words in, um, which song was it? Foolish Games?

Anyway, anytime I wanted to piss her off, I'd mention that song and watch her go on a rant.

You would think she'd have caught on eventually, but no. "You know, I really like that Jewel song..."

Heh.

Posted by: Meryl Yourish at August 11, 2005 06:05 PM

And oh yeah: Mary Chapin Carpenter writes and sings circles around Stefani and Jewel.

No "Bananas" song for her.

No breaths mid-lyric, either.

Posted by: Meryl Yourish at August 11, 2005 06:10 PM

I am so glad I don't listen to the radio.

Posted by: Sigivald at August 11, 2005 08:29 PM

Ilyka: Well what can I say? I was born there. Obviously, there's no accounting for taste, eh?

Meryl: Don't get me started on Jewel. I bought her first CD and listened to it through ONCE.

Since that time, I hear Jewel and think of the character Phoebe of "Friends" singing "Smelly Cat."

Never. Played. It again.

Posted by: Margi at August 12, 2005 08:46 AM

Caltech Girl nailed my major beef about that song. I mean, WTF? What's up with "B-A-N-A-N-A-S"? Is it like a closet spelling bee circle jerk? Are we really so out of ideas in the creative world that we have to resort to tropical fruit Scrabble games? Does the Chiquita Banana woman know this is going on, does Charo want her mojo back?

Gwen. Get real. You were way cooler with the pink hair and the punk wanna-be attitude. This new stuff just makes my toenails fall out.

Posted by: Helen at August 12, 2005 08:53 AM

does Charo want her mojo back?

COOTCHIE COOTCHIE COOTCHIE!

Posted by: why can't i be charo damnit at August 12, 2005 01:18 PM

Never heard the song. Don't know that I've ever heard of the singer, either.

Now, as for Jewel...

Posted by: Pixy Misa at August 13, 2005 02:01 AM

Margi: "Smelly cat" is the song I always think of after my cat hits the litter box.

But I'm laughing about your matching it with Jewel. Thanks for the giggles.

So I should admire Jewel from afar, and only listen to her songs on the radio, hm? Hokay.

Posted by: Meryl Yourish at August 13, 2005 10:51 PM

Margi you are soooo right about Jewel. I always thought that too!

Posted by: caltechgirl at August 14, 2005 04:41 AM