August 29, 2005

I Remembered It Was Bad, But I Forgot HOW Bad

My goodness, but I suffered through some awful music in my youth.

Stolen from Michele. Here are the instructions:

1) Go to and, in the search box provided, enter the year you graduated high school.

2) From the search results, click the link for the top 100 songs of that year.

3) With the resulting list:
a) bold the songs you like,
b) strike through the ones you hate
c) underline your favorite
d) and ignore the ones you don't remember/don't care about.

Lotsa strikethrough below the fold.

Top 100 Songs of 1986:

1. That's What Friends Are For, Dionne Warwick, Elton John, and Gladys Knight
2. Say You, Say Me, Lionel Richie [Shut UP!--ed.]
3. I Miss You, Klymaxx
4. On My Own , Patti Labelle and Michael McDonald
5. Broken Wings, Mr. Mister
6. How Will I Know, Whitney Houston
7. Party All The Time, Eddie Murphy
8. Burning Heart, Survivor
9. Kyrie, Mr. Mister
10. Addicted To Love, Robert Palmer
11. Greatest Love Of All, Whitney Houston
12. Secret Lovers, Atlantic Starr
13. Friends And Lovers, Carl Anderson and Gloria Loring
14. Glory Of Love, Peter Cetera [I SAID, shut UP.--ed.]
15. West End Girls, Pet Shop Boys
16. There'll Be Sad Songs, Billy Ocean
17. Alive And Kicking, Simple Minds
18. Never, Heart
19. Kiss, Prince and The Revolution
20. Higher Love, Steve Winwood
21. Stuck With You, Huey Lewis and The News
22. Holding Back The Years, Simply Red
23. Sledgehammer, Peter Gabriel
24. Sara, Starship
25. Human, Human League
26. I Can't Wait, Nu Shooz
27. Take My Breath Away, Berlin
28. Rock Me Amadeus, Falco
29. Papa Don't Preach, Madonna
30. You Give Love A Bad Name, Bon Jovi
31. When The Going Gets Tough, Billy Ocean
32. When I Think Of You, Janet Jackson
33. These Dreams, Heart
34. Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone), Glass Tiger
35. Live To Tell, Madonna
36. Mad About You, Belinda Carlisle
37. Something About You, Level 42
38. Venus, Bananarama
39. Dancing On The Ceiling, Lionel Richie
40. Conga, Miami Sound Machine [I really need something more violent than strikethrough for this--ed.]
41. True Colors, Cyndi Lauper
42. Danger Zone, Kenny Loggins
43. What Have You Done For Me Lately, Janet Jackson
44. No One Is To Blame, Howard Jones
45. Let's Go All The Way, Sly Fox
46. I Didn't Mean To Turn You On, Robert Palmer
47. Words Get In The Way, Miami Sound Machine
48. Manic Monday, Bangles
49. Walk Of Life, Dire Straits
50. Amanda, Boston
51. Two Of Hearts, Stacey Q
52. Crush On You, Jets
53. If You Leave, Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
54. Invisible Touch, Genesis
55. The Sweetest Taboo, Sade
56. What You Need, INXS
57. Talk To Me, Stevie Nicks [I actually don't remember this one, but I struck it on the general principle that Stevie often gives me a pain in the tuchis.--ed.]
58. Nasty, Janet Jackson
59. Take Me Home Tonight, Eddie Money [The boyfriend hates this. And you--shut up.--ed.]
60. We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off, Jermaine Stewart
61. All Cried Out, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam With Full Force
62. Your Love, Outfield
63. I'm Your Man, Wham! [No, you are not.--ed.]
64. Perfect Way, Scritti Politti
65. Living In America, James Brown
66. R.O.C.K. In The U.S.A., John Cougar Mellencamp [Makes stabby motions with fist--ed.]
67. Who's Johnny, El Debarge
68. Word Up, Cameo
69. Why Can't This Be Love, Van Halen [They mean Van Hagar.--ed.]
70. Silent Running, Mike and The Mechanics
71. Typical Male, Tina Turner
72. Small Town, John Cougar Mellencamp
73. Tarzan Boy, Baltimora
74. All I Need Is A Miracle, Mike and The Mechanics
75. Sweet Freedom, Michael McDonald
76. True Blue, Madonna
77. Rumors, Timex Social Club
78. Life In A Northern Town, Dream Academy
79. Bad Boy, Miami Sound Machine
80. Sleeping Bag, ZZ Top
81. Tonight She Comes, Cars
82. Love Touch, Rod Stewart [More stabby motions.--ed.]
83. A Love Bizarre, Sheila E.
84. Throwing It All Away, Genesis
85. Baby Love, Regina
86. Election Day, Arcadia
87. Nikita, Elton John
88. Take Me Home, Phil Collins
89. Walk This Way, Run-D.M.C. [Nothing against Run D.M.C.--I just don't like any version of "Walk This Way." It's a dumb fucking song.--ed.]
90. Sweet Love, Anita Baker
91. Your Wildest Dreams, Moody Blues
92. Spies Like Us, Paul McCartney
93. Object Of My Desire, Starpoint
94. Dreamtime, Daryl Hall [I don't honestly remember this either, but come on, it's DARRYL HALL. It HAS to suck.--ed.]
95. Tender Love, Force M.D.'s
96. King For A Day, Thompson Twins
97. Love Will Conquer All, Lionel Richie
98. A Different Corner, George Michael
99. I'll Be Over You, Toto
100. Go Home, Stevie Wonder

There it is--100 reasons why I stayed home a lot building kitschy shrines to Joe Strummer.

UPDATE: I shouldn't ask this, seeing as how I just admitted to liking a Lionel Richie song (I had a dream! I had an AWESOME dream!), but as there are now a couple lists up from 1980, I've got to ask:

Am I the only person who does not want you to take me to Funkytown?

And I not only like disco, I admit to liking disco. If we did one of these lists from '77 or '78 it would be boldapaloozza up there. I am pretty pathetic, generally, about the disco.

But, no. No, you may not take me to Funkytown. Don't even try it.

NOT KIDDING ABOUT THE DISCO: You thought Lionel Richie and Peter Cetera were terrible? This is terrible. From the top 20 of 1978:

1. Shadow Dancing, Andy Gibb
2. Night Fever, Bee Gees
3. You Light Up My Life, Debby Boone
4. Stayin' Alive, Bee Gees
5. Kiss You All Over, Exile
6. How Deep Is Your Love, Bee Gees
7. Baby Come Back, Player
8. (Love Is) Thicker Than Water, Andy Gibb
9. Boogie Oogie Oogie, A Taste Of Honey
10. Three Times A Lady, Commodores [But I'm glad this song exists, because it works perfectly in that one scene in Election.--ed.]
11. Grease, Frankie Valli
12. I Go Crazy, Paul Davis
13. You're The One That I Want, John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John
14. Emotion, Samantha Sang
15. Lay Down Sally, Eric Clapton
16. Miss You, Rolling Stones
17. Just The Way You Are, Billy Joel
18. With A Little Luck, Wings
19. If I Can't Have You, Yvonne Elliman
20. Dance, Dance, Dance (Yowsah, Yowsah, Yowsah), Chic [Even I have my disco-lovin' limits.--ed.]

I admit it gets too cheesy even for me after that, though--including one of my picks for Worst Song of All Time, Dan Hill's "Sometimes When We Touch." I can't even type that without shuddering. I'm not kidding. I can feel the hives rising up on me already.

Posted by Ilyka at August 29, 2005 01:00 AM in trivia | TrackBack

Gabriel kicks ass. Good choice for #1. Our tastes run very similarly with the notable exception that Gloria Estefan will forever be likened unto a goddess in the radio station of my mind.

Posted by: Jim at August 29, 2005 01:53 AM

Gloria Estefan will forever be likened unto a goddess

[makes stabby motions Jim-ward.]

Well, at least you didn't come out in favor of Whitney.

Posted by: ilyka at August 29, 2005 01:59 AM

I agree that you picked the best song on the list. Sledgehammer kicks ass.

Posted by: caltechgirl at August 29, 2005 02:15 AM

I second the whole Gabriel kicking ass bit.

But "Rock Me Amadeus", by Falco?

Yeah. I think I just had an orgasm.

Posted by: Helen at August 29, 2005 10:54 AM

I tried to do the meme for '87 but I threw up a little bit into my mouth so I had to stop.

Posted by: Jim at August 29, 2005 07:57 PM

The best song on that list is #78. I loved that song and still do. Most of the others are just awful.

Posted by: Rachel at August 29, 2005 10:23 PM

Another class of '86 here.

The problem I'm having is that a lot of the songs I didn't like then I ended up liking now.

And, by the way, just about ANYTHING from Peter Gabriel in 1986 kicks ass. My personal favorite of his is "Red Rain".

Posted by: diamond dave at August 30, 2005 09:56 PM

My personal favorite of his is "Red Rain".

!!! Likewise. It's a perfect track 1, too.

Posted by: ilyka at August 30, 2005 10:57 PM

You know, I just searched my year (it's 1992, as I am a young chick. Sorta'.) It had entirely too many tracks by Boys II Men. Also, too many by Elton John, whom I absolutely can't stand.

But it was right about the time that I saw number 15 when I realized that ain't nothing on your disco list that can make a person hang their head in shame like 1992's number 15.

15. Achy Breaky Heart, Billy Ray Cyrus.

That's right. Everyone in the Class of '92 go ahead and wait for the floor to open, because we have just found the world's worst song EVER.

Posted by: Helen at August 30, 2005 11:04 PM

15. Achy Breaky Heart, Billy Ray Cyrus.

Oh man. You know what that makes me wonder?--which year has the Macarena. That's the only thing I can think of that might be worse.

And these poor kids now who graduated this June--they're going to have "Hollaback Girl." Hahaha! Won't that sound darling at their 20th reunion?

"This shit is BANANAS! B! A-N-A-N-A--" [sounds of automatic weapon fire]

Posted by: ilyka at August 30, 2005 11:13 PM

Okay, I'll do one worse. Ready to vomit? One, two, three...

"Don't Worry, Be Happy"


Posted by: diamond dave at August 31, 2005 03:43 AM

Saw your comment at Mr. Macklin's.

"Dirty Work" is your favorite? ! GETHAFACKOUTTAHERE! Mine too!

And I like 1981 way better n' 1983. In fact, I'm with you...I appreciated the 70's a whole lot more.

Because let's face it -- most of the really GOOD 80's music wasn't on the top 100. [COUGHCOUGHViolentFemmesCOUGHCOUGH]

Posted by: Margi at August 31, 2005 05:05 AM

BTW, the album of Player's that contained "Baby Come Back" was entitled "Room With A View" and aside from that one song, it was mostly jazzy and ultracool. I've been looking for it for YEARS -- alas it's been out of print for FOR-EV-ER.

Posted by: Margi at August 31, 2005 05:07 AM

"Dirty Work" is as close as I'll ever get to having an actual theme song.

The Player album's out of print? How sad is that? You have this song that's like #1 for months and months--I can remember listening to the Top 40 on my transistor (!) while I sort of pretended to do the dusting back then, and I think the only thing from that time period that lasted longer at #1 is maybe "You Light Up My Life" (which, no, Debbie, you don't--and if God does, He deserves better tuneage than that anyhow). And then for all that you wind up OUT OF PRINT. That's tragic.

As for the Violent Femmes what can I say but EXACTLY.

Just . . . exactly.

Posted by: ilyka at August 31, 2005 06:14 AM

...If we did one of these lists from '77 or '78 it would be boldapaloozza up there...

So you were what, nine, in 1977? I guess the whole disco thing might have seemed like fun to a little kid, but for me as a high school senior it was nearly unendurable.

By the way, I see Shaun Cassidy shows up on the '77 list. Any young-girl crushes you'd like to admit to?

Posted by: Jack at August 31, 2005 07:55 PM

I'm going to have to do this - I saw it first at A Small Victory, but the Music Outfitters site wouldn't let me access the list then.

Checking it now, I'm surprised to find that Perry Como was in the top 100 in 1971. Lots of good music on the list, though.

Posted by: wheels at August 31, 2005 08:53 PM

So you were what, nine, in 1977?

Eight. I skipped third grade--that's why the graduation year's off from my actual age.

I guess the whole disco thing might have seemed like fun to a little kid,

Oh, no, eight year-old kids would much rather sing along to dreary old Doors tunes.

Well, some would. I didn't.

but for me as a high school senior it was nearly unendurable.

Poor you. There's this other site you might like better, in that case. Adios!

Posted by: ilyka at August 31, 2005 09:40 PM

Poor you. There's this other site you might like better, in that case. Adios!

Frightfully sorry for any perceived insult to the eight year old you... Didn't mean to, actually. I rather like this site, to tell the truth.

Posted by: Jack at September 1, 2005 05:09 AM