December 17, 2005

I'm Like to Kill

Hands up: Who has a relative who has, this year or in years past, done his or her level best to ruin this so-called Season of Joy?

Speak now, or forever hold your peace.

CLARIFICATION: As much as I'd like to describe the specific incident that prompted me to post this, I cannot. But let's just say this goes way, way, way beyond a touch of Scroogeness. I not only don't mind a touch of Scroogeness, I indulge in it often myself.

No, this is more like one of those moments when you think to yourself, "Okay, I'm a little dumb sometimes. Of course I am. I'm not perfect. But am I as dumb as this person, this person to whom I'm ostensibly related by blood? In fact, has anyone ever verified this? How do I know we're really related? Someone should run a DNA test--right after I run her dumb bitch ass over with a truck."

This is way beyond mere Christmas carol fatigue. Way beyond.

Posted by Ilyka at December 17, 2005 01:55 AM in hell is other people
Comments

Since you asked, I may qualify as one of those relatives/friends/colleagues. There are some years when I am not “in the spirit” 24/7. That ruins it for some. I don’t know why. After listening to 10 straight hours of Christmas music, I may have once said “Can we listen to something else, please?”. That ruins it for some. I may have chosen a quiet evening at home over attending someone’s gala Christmas party. That ruins it for some. If the people you’re talking about have to do their “level best”, they should give it up. They have no talent. I can do it without even trying.

Posted by: Rob at December 17, 2005 09:52 AM

I have to admit that I'm a Christmas ruiner myself. I just can't work up the excitement (except for the cornbread stuffing every year -- that shit rocks) and inevitably someone in my family is offended that I'm not up to the task of fawning over the faux cheer. Yeah, my family ain't that close.

Posted by: Lauren at December 17, 2005 12:03 PM

re: Clarification

I don't think I qualify but I'll look both ways before I step off the curb this season.

Posted by: Rob at December 17, 2005 12:40 PM

that would be my in-laws

Posted by: caltechgirl at December 17, 2005 08:19 PM

Christmases have gotten a lot calmer since we moved to Georgia. You're welcome to join us on Sunday. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at December 22, 2005 12:00 PM

Who has a relative who has, this year or in years past, done his or her level best to ruin this so-called Season of Joy?

::raising my hand::

EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.

Can't we all just get along?

Posted by: Beth at December 28, 2005 08:42 PM