I shouldn't read threads like this. Like it's not enough that I date a guy whose brain is leased out to the jukebox from hell?

I'll be mentally bopping along to something good, and that's about when he'll bust out with a verse or two from "I Go to Extremes."

Or "We Built This City."

Or "Everybody Have Fun Tonight."

Or--you know something, I'm not giving him any more ideas. His supply of bad songs is inexhaustible, but I don't see why I should go reminding him of ones he hasn't tormented me with in awhile.

The one I had to get serious with him about--I mean the one that had me four inches from his face screaming "this isn't funny anymore, you asshole!"--wasn't even a proper song. It was the theme to the show Family Ties:

And there ain't no nothin'
We can't love each other through

Find me the man or woman who wrote those lyrics so I can beat that individual. Ain't. No. Nothin'. Look, I have enough trouble forgiving the double preposition in "Live and Let Die." I only manage it because it's a good song. But the theme to Family Ties is a very, very bad song, and so to its creators I say, don't go wreaking triple negatives on my eardrums like that unless you want me to hurt you.

Note to all those who nominated Alanis Morissette's "Ironic:" Remind me to tell you about the time one of my former employers hired a Chinese-American programmer who liked to code while listening to music, but (a) would not wear headphones and (b) only had four MP3 and (c) would pick one of the four each day and play it on loop for, you know, the full fucking eight hours of the day and finally (d) was placed in the only office with any room in it, namely, mine.

Luckily for me, he sucked as a developer and was fired soon . . . but not nearly soon enough.

We don't mention that song, okay? Ever.

Posted by Ilyka at April 20, 2004 04:03 PM in hell is other people