September 07, 2004

Other Posts That Might, Just Might, Indicate the Author's Possession of a Vagina

But not necessarily because, as Rammer pointed out in the comments, I regularly confuse the Gender Genie. I ran the excerpted (blockquoted) passage from this post through it, and it identified the author of the passage as being male.

I did note at the time that this same algorithm that's expected to give results with "80% accuracy" was only batting about 63%, proving that guys who write algorithms are seldom as clever with them as they think they are, and possibly also suggesting that guys who write algorithms don't know dick about actual flesh-and-blood women; but then the popularity of anime among them proves that, doesn't it?

It has been observed that arguing with conspiracy-minded dolts--particularly, arguing with conspiracy-minded dolts on the internet--is seldom helpful.

But what the hell? It makes me feel better, and I'm what's important around here. Plus this way I get to recycle old stuff and don't have to produce anything new and--wait, I didn't mean to say that last part out loud.

Presenting:

Other Posts That Might, Just Might, Indicate the Author's Possession of a Vagina

In Which I Explain the Difficulties I Encounter, as a Woman, with Internet Erotica

In Which I Advocate Masturbation Via Bathtub Faucet for my Hypothetical Teenage Daughter, Not That I Would Know Anything About That Personally or Anything

In Which I Am Hit on by a Gentleman from South Africa Who Was Probably Way Too Homophobic to be Gay, Sorry; Also It Very Obviously Occurs in a Straight Bar, as No One in the Story is Depicted Dancing, Cruising, or Having Any Discernible Fun Whatsoever

In Which the V-Word That Actually Isn't "Vagina" Figures Prominently

SPECIAL NEXT-ISSUE PREVIEW!!! Coming next week: Ilyka Damen goes all fucking girly, featuring reviews of the most fab, must-have lipcolors for fall; the one thing your man secretly wishes you'd do in bed (that you probably aren't doing); candid conversation with The O.C. hunkster Adam Brody; Krav Maga or Pilates?--an in-depth comparison on how to get fit (and be the envy of all your friends during the holiday season!); shopping on a budget--where to go for off-the-rack impressions of your fave high-fashion designers; and so much more, all designed to make you feel dull, drab, insecure, and in need of an enormous fucking makeover!

Posted by Ilyka at September 7, 2004 04:27 PM in navel gazing
Comments

You rock.

Posted by: Emma at September 7, 2004 04:49 PM

Hey, girly girl - do what I do - pink. It IS the new white, you know. ;o)

Posted by: maura at September 7, 2004 10:22 PM

At last, this blog has finally become Cosmo. I'm so grateful...it's always been too interesting until now. I hope the Olsen twins get a mention.

Posted by: Simon at September 8, 2004 03:43 AM

Does this comment make me look fat?

Posted by: Attila Girl at September 8, 2004 04:54 AM

Come over to my blog this weekend? We can do each others' hair and talk about boys!!!!!!! It will be, like, so cool!

Posted by: Helen at September 8, 2004 07:19 AM

You people are worse than I am. You know what that means?--That's right: You're all drafted to help construct next week's issue.

Get crackin'. I want to see LOTS of lavender . . . .

Posted by: ilyka at September 8, 2004 11:07 AM

Ohhh goodie! I can't WAIT to read about what 27 things my guy wants me to do to him that I didn't eeeven know about!!

P.S. Thank you for the kind comment yesterday when I was tearing my hair out and throwing staplers. It was much appreciated. Who knew three Vicodin washed down with a chocolate martini* would do the trick?

(*I'm kidding.)

Posted by: Emma at September 8, 2004 04:10 PM

I thought pink was the new black, not the new white. If pink is the new white then just what IS the new black?

Help me Ilyka!!

Posted by: Jim at September 8, 2004 08:31 PM

Help me Ilyka!!

Umm . . . chocolate martinis . . . chocolate martinis . . . chocolate . . . martinis . . . .

Sorry--you say somethin'?

Posted by: ilyka at September 8, 2004 08:36 PM