November 13, 2004

With Friends Like These . . .

. . . the working man needs no enemies.

Look, I have GOT to cut back on my opinion-reading. Seriously. Someone stop me before I hurt myself retching. Where's that Sims 2 CD? What krep like this does to the blood pressure . . . really, I might as well go back to watching Katie Couric:

No working man or woman is my enemy. Their struggle, their endurance, is to be respected. They may be foolish and desperate enough to follow people who lie to them, but they've got too much self-respect to follow people who look down on them. They're terrified. They're unequipped for the complexities and paradoxes of the 21st century and they know it, and they resent like hell all those who accept leaving them behind as the price of entering the 21st century.
Oh dear heaven above would you please shut UP because what you are doing to your esophagus by shoving that ENORMOUS FOOT straight down it is unconscioniable.

There. Was that melodramatic enough? I could add some bold to it if you want.

But talk about missing the boat!

"Progressives, listen to me: We have got to quit condescending to these foolish, terrifed proles. Seriously. It's just not working out quiiiiite as well as we thought it would. The good news is, we still don't have to listen to anything they actually say. We just have to show them the light and refrain from saying out loud, in their company, to their faces, how much we pity their ignorance."

Oh. Shut. UP.

And progressives think evangelicals cornered the market on proselytizing? What exactly is this, if not a variation on the practice of witnessing? I could go into a Christian chat room right now and find you a dozen examples of Christians admonishing each other not to tell the heathen to their faces that they're, you know, HEATHEN. Bound for hell and suchlike.

But not one of them will suggest they quit thinking of the heathen as heathen. No one will be saying, "Let's try thinking of them as human beings just like you and I, instead." No, it's okay to think of them as heathen, because it's self-evident that they are so. Just don't let them know you think that. And for mercy's sake don't do anything gauche like say it.

This is like, "Now, dear, please, stop calling the help 'wetbacks.' You know they prefer 'spics' these days."

Shut UP!

No. No, on second thought, keep right on talking. At this rate the Republicans can run an actual chimpanzee four years from now, versus some guy who merely looks a little like one, and win in a total landslide.

Yeah. Yeah, keep talkin'. That's the ticket.

Posted by Ilyka at November 13, 2004 02:45 AM in hell is other people

Oh. My. God.

I read the whole thing.

Can I have two minutes alone with him? I'll bring my aluminum baseball bat.

Posted by: Meryl Yourish at November 13, 2004 03:27 AM

Then you're a better woman than I am, Meryl, because I had to quit once I got to the foolish-and-terrified part.

I didn't want to be around once his foot finally got all the way down to his colon.

Posted by: ilyka at November 13, 2004 03:35 AM

I swear, it's crap like that that's turning me from a nice genteel conservative lady into a militant reactionary conservative bitch!

I really don't like being mad, angry, enraged even, but these guys just make me CRAZY!! Other than typing in all CAPS and expletives, I can't even begin to describe how ticked off I am.

[deep breath]


Posted by: Ith at November 13, 2004 08:24 PM

The Left is in it's death spiral if they know so little about blue collar workers as to call us terrified.

Posted by: Peter at November 16, 2004 03:51 AM