December 08, 2004

Junk Food of Patriots

My boyfriend won't eat this stuff. I have to make it when he's not around, which only makes it that much more difficult for me not to consume the entire box in one sitting.

Still, though . . . sometimes I wonder how he can call himself an American.

Posted by Ilyka at December 8, 2004 01:20 AM in were you going to finish that?

Comfort food! Yay! Your boyfriend doesn't LIKE IT?? WTF? I cannot begin to tell you how many boxes of the stuff I've purchased over the years because of my boy children. . .

Well, anyway -- I won't tell. :)

Posted by: Margi at December 8, 2004 01:39 AM

I'm tellin' ya, Margi. Unamerican.

Christ, my comments would have to lively up on a night I'm supposed to be working. This blows.

Posted by: ilyka at December 8, 2004 01:43 AM

I know! I played my Duran Duran albums (shaddup) backwards and they said "Allah is dead."

Imagine my surprise!

Oh, and I'm working, too. This broad is so monotone I want to stick a spork in my eye. Oh, and 49:44. Shut. Up. Bitch.


Posted by: Margi at December 8, 2004 01:56 AM

I got Dr. Everything-Is-STAT-But-That-Won't-Stop-Me-From-Mumbling and Dr. Stutter, who's all right but needs, I mean really NEEDS, a nice handful of Xanax.

When will they learn that their primary jobs are to entertain us. WHEN.

I can't top 49:44, though. So I should count the blessings.

Posted by: ilyka at December 8, 2004 02:15 AM

Mmm. Xanax.

Posted by: Margi at December 8, 2004 02:19 AM

Mmm. Xanax.

Like mac-n-cheese but without all the calories. Yes.

Posted by: ilyka at December 8, 2004 02:21 AM

I have it on good authority that this particular delicacy is quite popular north of the border as well, only under a pseudonym (and vats of ketchup)

Posted by: caltechgirl at December 8, 2004 02:40 AM

Will their perfidy no know bounds? KETCHUP? What, putting vinegar on fries wasn't nasty enough?

Posted by: ilyka at December 8, 2004 03:40 AM

try the Trader Joe's White Chedder Mac'n'cheese on you boy. it will do him good.

Posted by: rammer at December 8, 2004 04:46 AM

Sometimes you scare the hell out of me.

My boyfriend hates that stuff too, which is why I have a box of it lined up and ready to eat tomorrow, since he's not home.

Seriously. Nothing says "Life will be ok" like mac'n'cheese.

Well, mac'n'cheese and alcohol. Lots of alcohol.

Posted by: Helen at December 8, 2004 02:34 PM

I'll eat it, but only as a last resort. Though I will eat it baked with chicken/tuna and sourcream in it and actually enjoy it. My brother loves the stuff and will actually choose to eat it for dinner.

Does Velveeta still make macaroni and cheese? I just suddenly remebered eating it as a kid.

Posted by: Ith at December 8, 2004 05:03 PM

Call me unamerican then, because that stuff is nasty, I can't even stand the smell. I honestly don't know if my husband likes it or not. I don't ever buy it and since I'm the one who does the grocery shopping, if I don't buy it, it isn't in the house.

Posted by: kathy at December 8, 2004 06:43 PM

Helen, didn't you mention once on your blog that they seemed to have really upped the salt content of it? Because I noticed that, I think, a little last night. Oh, it didn't stop me from wolfing it down or anything sensible like that, but still. If they made a low-sodium version, I might be driven to try it.

I haven't seen the Velveeta alternative in some time, Ith, but we just might not get that where I live. Really what stunned me were all the Kraft variations. White cheddar, white cheddar with spirals, extra creamy, extra creamy with Power Puff girls on the box . . . I stick with the classics, myself.

Posted by: ilyka at December 8, 2004 06:46 PM

By the way, I have the best commenters in the world because not one of you called me on "no know bounds" up there. Gah!

Posted by: ilyka at December 8, 2004 06:47 PM

You know, I tried to buy some last week (for the chicken sourcream casserole), and they didn't have any of the original in the store! It was all the different varietes, but no classic Kraft M & C. Really odd!

Posted by: Ith at December 8, 2004 07:29 PM

As Caltechgirl says, the Canucks love Mac and Cheese too, but they call it "Kraft Dinner".


Posted by: Sigivald at December 8, 2004 08:08 PM

This is patriotic food.

Hardee's--f-ck yeah!

Posted by: Hubris at December 8, 2004 09:56 PM

Don't make me jones to see that movie again, Hubris. I can't believe they even went and called it the Thickburger. Could we have a little more of the big-cocks innuendo, Hardees? I'm not sure you were clear enough on it the first time.

Posted by: ilyka at December 8, 2004 10:11 PM

Technically it's the Monster Thickburger, which is even more wonderfully suggestive.

Don't make me jones to see that movie again, Hubris.

I went to see it by myself, drunk, in Boca Raton. Me and some other dude on the other side of the theatre were laughing our asses off while the rest of the audience sat in stunned silence. It was beautiful.

Posted by: Hubris at December 8, 2004 10:23 PM

Dude, I had to talk my boyfriend out of seeing Kinsey to go see it. Fucking Kinsey, no pun intended. Of all the wanktastical wankeriffic bullshit . . . I really gotta quit giving the man such bad press on my blog because he's not half as bad as I make out, but come on: Isn't it supposed to be that I'm the one who wants to see the angsty portrayal of a sex researcher, while he's the one who's supposed to be all like, "But, but, but PUPPET SEX!" . . . ? I'm just pretty sure we had that entire argument backwards.

He ended up liking it a lot though. Because puppet sex.

Posted by: ilyka at December 9, 2004 01:41 AM

Things like this make me proud of not being American. Just like my life-long love of Vegemite always will mark me Australian.

Vegemite vs Macaroni Cheese deathmatch.

I'd like to see that.

Posted by: Simon at December 9, 2004 05:39 AM

They totally upped the salt content, I swear.

Or it could be I've gotten used to bland English food.

I couldn't wait. Like the willpower-less chick I am, I made the mac'n'cheese last night and gulped it down with some French beer. You know. To show I can be international.

Posted by: Helen at December 9, 2004 09:26 AM

Unamerican? I think you should check your boyfriend's blood for some of that alien DNA. Does he melt the razor if he cuts himself shaving? That's how you can tell.

Re the Thickburger: if you think the name is scary, you should see the tv commercial. This woman shoves her entire fist inside her mouth. I just sat and stared. Sometimes I think Western Civilization is truly doomed.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at December 9, 2004 11:59 AM

It's better if you make it from scratch.
Bacon, macaroni, milk, butter, cheddar cheese and salt&pepper.
Just don't let it get too hot or the cheese will separate.

Posted by: Ralph M at December 10, 2004 03:09 AM

I've done homemade versions. They taste "better," certainly, but they're not, you know, junk food.

Posted by: ilyka at December 10, 2004 03:18 AM

I think they* added more salt to Kraft mac-a-cheese at the same time they started adding sugar to canned vegetables. Still, you can make it less salty. Did you make it with margarine? The salt content in margarine is off the charts. Gotta watch the butter too - make your mac-a-cheese with unsalted butter and you should be golden.

* The American Heart Association. Oh, what? Are you really going to tell me that a bunch of cardiologists are out there trying to put themselves out of their million dollar jobs? Yeah, sure they are. Bloody fascists.

Posted by: Jim at December 13, 2004 07:05 PM