January 18, 2005

How Lazy? THIS Lazy

Never underestimate my ability to blow things off.

I dreamt last night that the boyfriend and I were sitting around talking to a couple other people, when suddenly I asked, "Wait, is today Saturday?"

"Yeah," answered the boyfriend.

"Saturday the 25th?"


I looked at my watch. It was 4:25 in the afternoon. I said, "Ohmigod, our wedding is at 5:15 at my parents' house."

"Oh, that's right," said the boyfriend.

"I really don't feel like going."

"Me neither."

"We'll never make it on time anyway. It's 45 minutes to my parents' house from here."

"We'd be late to our own wedding."

"I know!"

"Can't we reschedule?"

"My parents would have to reschedule everything then. The caterer, the band, the decorators . . . it would cost them a fortune. They'd kill me."


"Yeah. Hey, and I don't know what I did with my engagement ring."

"Did you look on the bookshelf? You leave everything on the bookshelf."

"I know, but it's not there. I checked already. Did you ever pick up the wedding bands?"

"Uh, no."

"Oh crap. What are we going to do?"

"Well, I think we have to go."

I started thinking about getting into the shower, doing my hair, my makeup, having to put on the damn dress . . . and I said to the boyfriend:

"We should have just gone to Vegas some weekend."

"We should have," he agreed.

"I really don't feel like getting married today. What's wrong with me? This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life, a day I'll treasure forever, but I'm not feeling it at all. I just don't care. I'd rather sit here and hang out some more."

"I know," he replied, "but maybe you should at least get in the shower."

Posted by Ilyka at January 18, 2005 09:06 PM in navel gazing

There should be a prize or something :)

Posted by: Ith at January 19, 2005 01:38 AM

If it weren't for the fact that you posted this yesterday, I'd say that that dream was caused by reading the Teri Polo thread at A Small Victory!

I love Allah's writing, really I do, but -- Jeebus! -- the man is bitter. Yikes.

(I'm assuming that you're the same Ilyka who posted there -- if not, never mind!)

Posted by: Deus ex Macrame at January 19, 2005 10:32 AM

I really wanted to type ROTFLMAO but I've sworn to never do that. Anyway I'm not really rolling on the floor. They frown at such displays here at work. My ass is still firmly attached too so it would really be a gross exaggeration.

No, wait. "Michael Moore ate Nantucket" is a gross exaggeration. It's only an exaggeration because he hasn't been to Nantucket yet. Then it'll just be gross.

Anyway, that was funny as shit and you know how funny I think shit is. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at January 19, 2005 03:09 PM

And sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Although, in my professional crazy opinion, not in this case.

Posted by: Helen at January 19, 2005 07:33 PM

From the If-Its-Any-Comfort Department:

In the 24 hours before a wedding, there are quite a few real life moments just like this.

Posted by: Rob at January 20, 2005 11:19 AM