Well? Did you?

I can't write anything about my mother because she would kill me (and she'd really kill me if I posted her photo online). My mother would hyperventilate if she even thought I might post something about her. My mother's a very private person. So I'm going to do my best to help her out by not writing a word about her.

But she's a fantastic, amazing, awesome mom, better than I deserve. I don't think it's giving away too much to say that.

Call your mother if you're lucky enough to have her among the living.