July 16, 2005

And Curse Sir Walter Raleigh, He Was Such a Stupid Git

I love the internet, I do--but until it gets up to speed and starts performing the ordinary (but touching) actions of another actual human being, one I could send out to go pick up the coffee I should have bought the other day at the store but didn't, one who'd only complain a little bit about being sent on a dumb errand like that . . . what good is the internet, really?

Exhausted. I have hours of work ahead of me. I need that coffee. I know, I should just grow the hell up and schedule a regular shipment from some online retailer who offers fair-trade shade-grown organic because . . . uh, well, the Amazon, you know, and support for indigenous peoples, right, and like pesticides, they're all toxins, whereas coffee is completely a health food.

I would drink coffee ground exclusively from DDT-soaked beans harvested by six year-old slave children right now. I don't care.

So tired.

Of course this dreck is all you get on a Friday. It's what you get for only reading blogs while on the clock, you bums.

Posted by Ilyka at July 16, 2005 01:58 AM in navel gazing | TrackBack

Jim's rules, #27: Always keep a jar of that nasty instant coffee in the cupboard. Eventually there will come a time when you don't care how nasty it is.

I've got a corollary now. Since last anniversary when I bought Lovely Wife one of those Senseo fancified brew a cup of coffee for a buck in its own gold lined filter machines, I tossed out the instant and just keep a stash of the Senseo coffee thingies.

Posted by: Jim at July 16, 2005 03:44 AM

We have the Senseo thing for the same reason. I really wanted the $400 Keurig deal, but we couldn't go for that. The Senseo is a piece of crap, really, but for $30 it comes in handy on those rare occassions I run out of coffee.

Posted by: michele at July 16, 2005 11:36 AM

I think you have to work on your priorities.

1) Coffee
2) Coffee
3) Coffee
4) Coffee
5) Rent/Mortgage
6) All that other stuff

Posted by: Rob at July 16, 2005 05:07 PM

But you CAN order it online and have it get there pretty quickly. That said, do you have anything in the house to trade... so maybe a neighbor can give you some? You're creative...I know you can find some somewhere and figure out how to get your hands on it. :)

Posted by: esther at July 16, 2005 10:17 PM

Babe, I can mainline coffee grounds I'm such an addict. I totally understand.

Posted by: Helen at July 18, 2005 01:19 PM

Yeah, Jim, I have some crappy instant coffee for emergencies.

And I realize this doesn't have much to do with the post, but I have always felt sorry for Sir Walter Raleigh:

After his second expedition to the Orinoco in search of El Dorado, Raleigh was beheaded for allegedly conspiring against James I of England although he was already dying from syphilis at the time.

(searching for El Dorado? Jawas? What the hell is this movie about?) Here, Wikipedia doesn't give a hell of a lot of detail, but I have read about his trial, and it was Kangaroo Court. For someone who did so much for his country, to be beheaded. It would be like if Norman Schwarzkopf got the chair.

Posted by: Mark at July 18, 2005 07:45 PM

"Although I'm so tired I'll have another cigarette..."

Now I have that song (story of my life) stuck in my head!

Posted by: Beth at July 18, 2005 11:29 PM

...and because I'm always SO TIRED (well, honestly, LAZY) I gave up coffee. It requires more effort than opening a can, so now I am wholly addicted to Diet Coke. Much more convenient than coffee, even if I drink 10 or 12 a day.

Posted by: Beth at July 18, 2005 11:32 PM