"I was in band! I played the phallic TRUMPET! Surely that means I want to ride the SKIN TRUMPET!"

You all just . . . just go read that. I've got to quit shaking with laughter long enough to get back to work.

(Thanks for costing me money by tempting me into goofing off, Jim. Hey, why don't you just link another of those penguin games while you're about your deviltry, huh?)