July 29, 2005

Freaking the Norms

Here's a thought: If "freaking out" the "normal people" is really your "whole intent," how 'bout coming up with something that doesn't have an expiration date ending in "1972" stamped on it?

Creativity is dead.

Here, have a vocabulary word:

Main Entry: de·sen·si·tize
Pronunciation: (")dE-'sen(t)-s&-"tIz
Function: transitive verb
1 : to make (a sensitized or hypersensitive individual) insensitive or nonreactive to a sensitizing agent
2 : to make emotionally insensitive or callous; specifically : to extinguish an emotional response (as of fear, anxiety, or guilt) to stimuli that formerly induced it
Now let me use it in a sentence:

I grew up in the 70s, so I'm pretty desensitized to floppy titties on parade by now.

Here are some things you could do instead that would definitely "freak out" the "normal people":

  • Bathe
  • That money you had saved up for the sex change? Invest it in petrochemical companies instead.
  • There are these things? Called jobs?
  • Exercise. Dancing the Spiral Dance every Esbat does not count.
  • Vote Republican

    That last one would really blow my mind. You could consider me freaked for life.

    But me and the other normals, we are just a teensy bit bored with the boobage.

    CREDIT UPDATE: Whoops, almost left that off--via Maladjusted.

    Posted by Ilyka at July 29, 2005 11:01 PM in hell is other people | TrackBack
  • Comments

    Argh! I hate the titty brigade!

    I wonder if they've caught on yet that breast exposure doesn't help clue people in to your cause, it does the OPPOSITE!


    Posted by: Lauren at July 29, 2005 11:51 PM

    If I gotta hang my head in shame at Focus on the Family, Lauren, you gotta deal with the titty brigade.

    No one ever said life was fair.

    Besides, I hear bare breasts really boost site traffic! Some guy said!

    Posted by: ilyka at July 30, 2005 12:00 AM

    Wow, they actually use the word "squares". These people are really living in a time warp.

    And after seeing those photos - as God is my witness, I shall never go without support again! Never mind bombs, those breasts were what sent a chill up my spine, and not in a good way.

    Posted by: Sonetka at July 30, 2005 01:16 AM

    I like to consider myself a superfreak, but the inflated scrotum did sort of surprise me. So maybe I'm a "square."

    Posted by: Hubris at July 30, 2005 04:39 AM

    The only things that come to mind when I see the floppy-titty brigade are the words "yeast infection" and "body lice." I wanted to wash my monitor in Pinesol after visiting that website.

    Posted by: Andrea Harris at July 30, 2005 06:21 AM

    Minor quibble: Those aint 70s floppies. Those are hippies from the Woodstock, flower power, make-love-not-war 60s generation. The expiration date is 1969. Timothy Leary is dead and all of the original LSD is gone. Back to the commune or Maggie’s farm or Haight Ashbury, children. The rest of us have moved on.

    Posted by: Rob at July 30, 2005 11:25 AM

    "We are the Folk Song Army
    Every one of us... cares.
    We all hate poverty, war and injustice -
    Unlike the rest of you squares."

    Posted by: Pixy Misa at August 1, 2005 12:48 AM

    desensitization is exactly right, thank you!

    Posted by: annika at August 2, 2005 08:54 AM