--but oh my heavenly days, am I feeling rageful. And before that one guy asks (or, worse, sends me a poem about it), NO, IT IS NOT THAT TIME OF THE MONTH.
Please, gentlemen, let me provide just this one tiny bit of advice that, so help me, I wish never needed to be provided. But it does, so I will, and here it is: Do not send the ladies poetry about their menses. Ever. Not for Arbor Day, not for V-E Day, not for any occasion at all. Yes I know the colors of Christmas are green and red BUT NO, NOT EVEN THEN. Okay? OKAY.
Whew. That's taken the edge off a little bit.
But you know what would help more?
You telling me what you're mad about.
GO. And hurry up--because if you haven't noticed I'm not feeling real super-patient today, either.
NEVER MIND, I AM ALL BETTER NOW UPDATE: Blogrolled by The Fake Doctor! Sweet. Must try to actually earn that distinction sometime.
You are all reading The Fake Doctor daily and enjoying the humorous dispatches very much, yes yes? And if you are of the nice young Jewish females, you are the sending of the naked pictures of yourself to him with great haste and frequency also, yes? You are using the digital photography and the email and perhaps even the FedEx for the 8 x 10 glossies? Good, good. We want to keep that man happy, so off with la ropa, chicas. And you, Meryl--send the nice man some readers. I know you've got a nice Jewish girl or two lurking about somewhere on that blog.
Posted by Ilyka at September 1, 2005 02:45 AM in navel gazing | TrackBackI was going to say I was pretty mad about this Crook character but then I realized I'm really not. It's more laughable than anything else.
Actually, there is something that's pissing me off right now. Gas at $4 a gallon. That has me in a right foul mood. The fact that the price spike is because of consumer idiocy just adds salt to the wounds.
No, wait. That's not the salt. That's why I'm pissed. Moron bastards making a run on gas stations has pushed the price of gas up locally over $1.20 a gallon in less than a day.
I really can't stand idiocy like this.
Posted by: Jim at September 1, 2005 03:50 AMI'm mad that I'm 19 and cannot get a job because I have not had a job.
At least I am not blaming President Bush for that, though.
Posted by: OHNOES at September 1, 2005 03:55 AMI'm mad that I'm 19
Wait, WAIT. You're 19?
Why am I not stalking you?!?
Pardon me. I gotta go write "I will not date the kinder" 500 times. It's what the therapist recommended after that one time, that one time I've been court-ordered not to talk about.
Jim--no SHIT. And I thought it was bad I paid $2.77 a gallon last week. Ha, ha, ho, ho, whatthehelldidiknow?
Posted by: ilyka at September 1, 2005 04:02 AMPeeved about the price of gasoline eh? Well suck it up...$4 a gallon is right around the corner :)
Lady at my work walked in this morning, first words out of her mouth "I can't believe the price of gas!!!". Nevermind the fact that she drives to work in a ford expedition. Alone. She has no room to complain, nor does anyone else driving a road tank by themselves.
H.
Nevermind the fact that she drives to work in a ford expedition. Alone. She has no room to complain, nor does anyone else driving a road tank by themselves.
I'll buy that unless they live somewhere it's needed due to terrain and/or weather, or they ferry a bunch of kids around. You with the VW obsession, however, can afford to feel a little smug these days.
Posted by: ilyka at September 1, 2005 04:35 AMI'm mad that the reason I can't get a permanent job teaching 20-year-olds to add fractions, is that I don't have a Ph.D. in math.
Not that I want to do that, but my lord.
Posted by: Moebius Stripper at September 1, 2005 05:17 AMI'm mad that the reason I can't get a permanent job teaching 20-year-olds to add fractions, is that I don't have a Ph.D. in math.
Okay, Moebius Stripper just won. Sorry, y'all, but unless someone from Biloxi or NOLA shows up, that one takes the cake.
Posted by: ilyka at September 1, 2005 05:27 AMWoohoo! What do I win? Is it a job? Cuz I could really use a job.
Posted by: Moebius Stripper at September 1, 2005 06:18 AMHate to disappoint Ilyka, but I LOOK the part of the creepy stalker a lot more than you do. :P
Besides, you stalking me would be too kinky... I would definitely enjoy it too much.
Anyway, you can tell us about the time, Ilyka. I won't tell the courts if you won't.
Posted by: OHNOES at September 1, 2005 07:46 AMGas topped $5 a gallon locally yesterday evening. Am I back on top?
Posted by: Jim at September 1, 2005 08:27 AMOh, thanks for the advice about the menses poem, Ilyka. I was about to... well, let's say that you saved me a bit of embarassment in the near future.
Posted by: OHNOES at September 1, 2005 03:05 PMAm I back on top?
Fractions, Jim. A Ph.D. to teach FRACTIONS. $5.00 a gallon is only 2/7 as bad as that. :)
Posted by: ilyka at September 1, 2005 04:37 PMCoincidentally, how DO you make menses poetic?
Posted by: OHNOES at September 1, 2005 05:09 PMWhat? I can't have a boytoy? Why would I want to send any hot young things his way, anyway? You know what they say about us older women.
Posted by: Meryl Yourish at September 1, 2005 07:26 PM