December 29, 2005

Sassing Back the Search Engines

To the three apparently discrete entities searching for "Avon World Sales Leader:"

You got the wrong blog. I'm more of a Mary Kay person, actually.

To the person at the Equal Opportunities Commission searching for "Dirty Hernandez:"

That wasn't me either. I would never use that term and I'm rather sorry someone here did, even if it is apparently just the name of an alcoholic beverage.

I'm particularly sorry that I'm the second result for that search. Watch it, Jim! You're on fuckin' notice.

Finally, I am not a business, I don't employ anybody, and you clearly need more work to do if you've got time to sit around the office Googling "Dirty Hernandez."

To the person in Maryland searching for "Ilyka Damen:"

Well, yeah, that's me, but do I know you? I don't think I know anybody in Maryland--no, wait, maybe. Oh dear.

Anyway, it's creeping me out, though I'm not sure why. You'd think, given that I started a blog, that it would make me happy to see someone's actually interested in finding it; but it doesn't, and it's just further evidence that I'm probably not really cut out for this sort of thing.

Posted by Ilyka at December 29, 2005 02:01 PM in navel gazing

If it makes you feel better, my bookmarks are a complete mess, so sometimes when I don't have my own blog open (or someone with a similar blogroll) I just google the blog I want to go to. It seems faster.

So it could be someone nice, but unorganized, like me.

Oh, wait: I'm not nice. But I try, and I should get credit for that.

It's soooooo nice to have you back!

Posted by: Attila Girl at December 30, 2005 02:12 AM

Hernandez...Sanchez...whichever. Either way you can pick one up at the Circle K for less than $50.

Posted by: Jim at December 30, 2005 05:07 PM
So it could be someone nice, but unorganized, like me.

Good point--I do that myself, especially when I can't remember whether the domain ends in .com or .net or .us, or whatever.

But these Avon ladies (I'm still getting them) need to CHILL. It's like cult behavior with these searches.

Posted by: ilyka at December 31, 2005 05:00 AM