Proof, if more were needed, that I am an imbecile:

My boyfriend and I were standing on the patio smoking cigarettes when a crew-cutted young fellow in swimming trunks headed past us, towards the pool. I will omit the pointless disagreement that his passing prompted between my boyfriend and I, about whether the security guards lock the pool up at different hours on the weekends than they do during the week, and get to the good part, the part in which I am exceedingly dumb.

As the young man passed us on his way back from the pool, he chuckled in a slightly embarrassed fashion and explained, "Dropped my dog tags in the pool."

"Oh," I laughed, "didn't feel like sending the dog into get 'em, huh?"

The young man gave a very small "heh" and continued on his way without further comment.

"Good job, honey," my boyfriend muttered with clear disgust, "Making fun of a serviceman. And so soon after Memorial Day."

"Service . . . ?"

"Yes. The hair?"

"But--"

"His DOG TAGS?"

"I--oh. You mean . . . you mean his dog tags. HIS dog tags."

"Yes."

"Not his dog's tags?"

"NO."

[pause]

"Oh, no."

[pause]

"I am--wow, I am REALLY STUPID."

"Edith," my boyfriend sighed, shaking his head, "Edith, you dingbat."