June 09, 2006

That Blog, That Blog, That Bad Bad Blog

Hmm--the first sentence of this poses a good question.

I was all set to answer it, too--something along the lines of, "Would it help if I specifically invited you not to?"--but then I remembered that I do the same thing myself. And this won't be of much comfort to Zatera, but I finally figured out that most of the blogs I do this with exhibit the same faults I don't like about my own blog.

Anyway, enough of the meta-meta, and on to Zatera's question:

I’d like to know why “pussy” is offensive, but the f-word (which Ilyka and many feminist bloggers use regularly, ew!) isn’t. I think the f-word just as demeaning, if not more–an insult to loving sexual intimacy between a man and a woman.

And there I don't really know what to say, other than that she's probably right. Believe me, I know I throw around that other f-word too much. It's so adaptable, though. It can be a verb or an adjective or a noun or . . . and it's punchy, sometimes. Sometimes you just want to let the reader know that you're through, uh, messing around.

(Whew! That was close.)

Ideally, I'd work on my vocabulary instead of always falling back on that all-purpose vulgarity to express myself. That'd be better, I agree. But this is a subject I've beat into the ground already, so let me ask Zatera a question of my own:

Why is a Christian conservative woman remaining completely unoffended by, even laughing at, a site emblazoned with the silhouette logo of a nekkid woman about to poke herself in the hoo-ha?

Posted by Ilyka at June 9, 2006 07:28 PM in hell is other people

'Fuck' is a great word. "Fucking FUCKERS! Fuck you!'

As for 'pussy', it implies that the person so identified has all the guts and substance of a fuzzy little kitty cat.

I have heard women use this word in other contexts, usually in close one on one situations, and always find it very exciting.

Posted by: Barry at June 10, 2006 09:44 AM

And how come your latest critics have registration-required (Feministing.org) or CLOSED (this woman) comments?

Posted by: JD at June 10, 2006 01:37 PM
I have heard women use this word in other contexts, usually in close one on one situations, and always find it very exciting.


or CLOSED (this woman) comments?

Let's just say I'll bet they'd feel right at home at Initech, and leave it at that.

Posted by: ilyka at June 10, 2006 03:16 PM

I must say I'm also not keen on the deceitful way she quoted me; from the way she's excerpted me, it looks as though I'm saying I never tolerate the use of "pussy" to mean "coward," but that's not what I go on to conclude in the post.

But there! Christians never deceive intentionally.

Posted by: ilyka at June 10, 2006 05:29 PM

Grrr. MT won't let me post my post because I used too many swears in it.

It's an English major's explanation on how Ilyka is right, and her critic is wrong.

I emailed it to her. Maybe she can get it through the censors.

Posted by: Meryl Yourish at June 11, 2006 08:44 AM

I think we can all agree that "cunt" should never be used.

Posted by: The Holywriter at June 11, 2006 10:08 AM

The use of "fuck" and "pussy" as insults are completely incomparable, as in, unable to be compared.

"Pussy," when used to describe a person, is not meant as a synonym for cat. It is used as a synonym for woman. It is a slang word for female genitalia. When a man is called a pussy, he is being called a woman. The fact that calling a man a woman is an insult speaks volumes for what men think about women as a whole.

"Fuck" is used in a variety of ways. It can mean the same as "damn" when used as "Fuck, I forgot to tell you to get milk on the way home!"

It can be used to imply injury on another person: "Go fuck yourself." It doesn't mean go have sex with yourself and feel really good as a result. It means, essentially, I wish you harm, therefore, go fuck yourself. Corollary: "Fuck you!"

"What the fuck?" can easily be translated as "What the heck?"

The only time "fuck" is used in a particularly degrading and demeaning way to women is when it is used as a threat: "I'd like to fuck her so hard she'd be walking bowlegged for a week." In this respect, it is essentially a synonym for rape, and entails the threat of violence on the intended victim.

In sum: The complainant has no real grasp of language, and is using an insipidly stupid argument against your choice of expletives.

Compare, for example, the use of the word "dick," which essentially is another word for "jerk."

Isn't it interesting that slang for male genitalia is considered--at most--a minor insult, but slang for female genitalia is enough to cause physical violence.

Call a man a dick, he's not too upset. Call a man a pussy, and you have impugned his maleness and must suffer the consequences. Call a woman a pussy, and we stare at you blankly and say, "And your point is?"

The effects of the words "fuck" and "pussy" are not comparable at all. Your opponent needs to do some research, and perhaps even a little thinking, before posting on a subject such as this.

Don't be so quick to accept a lame argument from a critic next time, please. She's wrong. Dead wrong.

Posted by: Meryl Yourish at June 11, 2006 10:59 AM

Well, I'm willing to give Zatera the benefit of the doubt and say that she misunderstood your point about the p-word. I would have told her so in her comments, but she doesn't have them turned on.

Both my sister and I (while talking to each other, not in public) have used the p-word to refer to men who are effete, effeminate or wimpy. I don't see this as a slur against women, but rather a way of upbraiding men for not being manly enough. I've heard of women with unfeminine features being called "manface". I don't see this as a slur against men in the same way that I don't think the p-word is necessarily a slur against women.

I rarely think of the f-word as referring to intercourse, unless said intercourse is of the shallowest, basist variety, such as, "He's such a whoremonger...he'll f**k anybody!" Usually, it's just an exclamation of anger that I try to avoid saying. However, it's better than taking the Lord's name in vain.

Posted by: Susan B. at June 11, 2006 12:02 PM

Gah...that should be "basest variety". Why can't I see these things before I hit "post"?

Posted by: Susan B. at June 11, 2006 12:06 PM

(1) I tend to use ****** instead of the f-word (usually,
(2) It's Ilyka's blog, so her preferences in what she posts for public consumption is the rule
(3) Are these people so consumed with self-doubt that they are afraid to see their views questioned? (as for "registartion required," I'll allow a pass -- whithin 2 minutes of my very first post in my own blog I had comments spam.

Posted by: Craig R. at June 11, 2006 01:19 PM

Susan B. has made my case for me. The defense rests, your honor.

Posted by: Meryl Yourish at June 11, 2006 05:09 PM

Susan B. is all kinds of awesome, yes.

Posted by: ilyka at June 11, 2006 08:42 PM

Thank you! ;-)

Posted by: Susan B. at June 12, 2006 06:11 AM

Yes, but she and I disagree about an important point: That the word "pussy" is also an insult to women, regardless of whether or not it's used on a man.

She says she uses it to insult an "effete, effeminate, or wimpy" man. Now, Susan B. may not thinking calling him a woman is insulting to women, but the fact that "woman" is effectively being used as an insult speaks volumes.

And of course, the most annoying thing about all of this is that I use the words in the exact same fashion. Plus, I call other drivers "pussies" for being afraid to make a left-hand turn, so you add "fearful" to the litany of things women are supposed to be that men aren't.

Sigh. We've come a long way, baby.

Posted by: Meryl Yourish at June 12, 2006 01:25 PM