August 19, 2005

Revive Intolerance

I'm jealous: That Absinthe & Cookies gal sure does get the strangest email solicitations--

Basically a Married But Looking group, we do allow singles. If you can't keep from "preaching" to married but looking folks, please do not join.
The hell . . . ?

I'm sure a fine, high-minded case could be made for expanding our minds (past the point they'd continue to fit in our skulls) to revisit our traditional concept of marriage to include partners who are wholly, deeply committed to one another, yet also enjoy--

No, screw that! Listen: THERE IS NO "MARRIED BUT LOOKING." That's just a cute little euphemism you came up with to keep from calling yourselves LYING, CHEATING WHORES AND BASTARDS.

So obviously I can't join, right? Because no way could I keep from "preaching" to them. And we all know preaching is the very evilest thing you can do of all. It's way more eviler than preying on lonely singles when you've already got a partner at home.

Damn me and my intolerance.

UPDATE: I will call my counter-group RIMSHOT: Revive Intolerance of Married-Single Hookups (Obnoxious Twats). No . . . ?

Posted by Ilyka at August 19, 2005 06:08 PM in i don't know you tell me | TrackBack

You should see adultfr*

Nah, on second thought, maybe you shouldn't.

Posted by: Hubris at August 19, 2005 06:14 PM


Isn't that the name of a song?

Here I am laughing out loud at my desk again.

Thanks for the link!

Posted by: Ith at August 19, 2005 06:21 PM

You should see adultfr*

It's one thing if both halves of the couple have defined themselves as swingers, Hubris, but my impression of the above group was not of swingers.

Otherwise there'd be no need for a tag like "married but looking," nor for an admonishment to lay off the preaching.

I could be wrong. But gosh, I sure do appreciate you lookin' out for my poor, preachy, prudish eyes there.

Posted by: ilyka at August 19, 2005 06:25 PM

Actually, I don't think you're a prude and I was agreeing with you.

I went into it the aforementioned site a long time ago; besides the bizarre isolated photos of genitalia, many of the attached descriptions were along the lines of "married but just looking for someone living within a 20-mile radius to f**k."

Almost enough to make ya believe in romance again, ain't it?

Posted by: Hubris at August 19, 2005 06:32 PM

Actually, I don't think you're a prude and I was agreeing with you.

Whoops! Sorry. :( Must remind self: REEDING IS FUNDOMETTLE.

besides the bizarre isolated photos of genitalia

Hahaha! The source for Colin Farrell's penis . . . ?

I definitely prefer my bizarre isolated photos of genitalia to be asking "who wants scramby eggs?"

Posted by: ilyka at August 19, 2005 07:04 PM

My fault, my comment was inadvertently elliptical.

As for my source material, there are actually stock photos at leprec**

Posted by: Hubris at August 19, 2005 07:15 PM

Yeah, you can select "married but looking" on your Yahoo! profile. I always wonder what the other half of that relationship must think. If they even know about it. And how. . .disingenuous even while being "totally up-front".

I like the "lying, cheating whores and bastards." Now that's honest.

Posted by: Margi at August 19, 2005 08:32 PM

RIMSHOT. I like it, but it could be ... I dunno ... more.

What can you do with TOSSED SALAD?

Posted by: Jim at August 20, 2005 01:24 AM

Hm. I found a picture of Jude Law's penis online.

Yes, really.

Was I looking? No. Did I click on the pictures for a better view? Damned straight.

Posted by: Meryl Yourish at August 20, 2005 08:26 PM

I found a picture of Jude Law's penis online.


Forgot. How. Much. I. Prefer. Them. CIRCUMCISED.

Thanks, Meryl, for contributing to my weight-loss program. Every little meal deferred helps!

Posted by: ilyka at August 20, 2005 08:38 PM

Yes indeed, you can select "Married but Looking" for your Yahoo profile. How grand is that? And just what kind of market research did Yahoo do to discover that there was such a market for profiles for sleazy folks?

But you can't select "Engaged." I'm getting married next year and my only choice is the dry "Long-term relationship." I really wish there was a category like "Look ELSEWHERE because I'm NOT interested".

Posted by: Kimberly at August 21, 2005 12:18 AM