People, it's only $5.00. If you can't have charity in your heart, at least have mercy on me and my pride.

(Oh, and guess which family members I'm no longer speaking to if they don't help me out on this one: Every. Last. One of them.)

Besides, I know you're dying to find out how bad my poetry is. Here's a hint: It's very, very bad. Almost this bad.

In fact, maybe I should be offering a deal where you give Spirit of America $5.00 NOT to have me write you any poetry.

Five dollars, and you can say you participated in the building of Iraqi owned and operated television stations. Five dollars, and you say you helped lay the foundations for freedom in Iraq. Five dollars, and you can take your pick of an interview, a Tarot reading, or . . . er, the poetry. Yes, all right, so I'm rethinking the poetry.

Five dollars. Do you have any idea what I will think of you if you can't spare $5.00? I have friends I've parted ways with because they can't leave $5.00 tip on a restaurant check. And here you're going to stiff the people of Iraq in this endeavor? No way, buddy. Five bucks. Now. Do it.

Trust me: We'll all be much, much happier this way.

Posted by Ilyka at April 27, 2004 12:47 AM in chariblogging